Just ten days after being sacked by Birmingham City, ex-England star Wayne Rooney already has a new job. However, this time, he’ll be managing a slightly older squad.

Rooney is to head up Only Grans, a brand new streaming site that’s catered towards elderly sex workers and their admirers, to help level the playing field for older, less-tech-savvy streamers.

Explaining his decision to pursue a new venture, Rooney told reporters: ‘Look, I love football. I’ve been in football my whole life, but I’ve got other passions as well, and older women in tight, skimpy outfits are one of them. Honestly, I can’t wait to get stuck in.’

Challenged about his suitability for his new role, Rooney quipped, ‘As my record at Birmingham, or Derby, or DC United will probably tell you, I’m no Massimo Allegri, but like Mr Allegri, I think I can lead an Old Lady to glory,’ signing off that statement with a cheeky wink.

Lastly, asked whether or not he’ll miss football, the former Birmingham boss quipped, ‘Not at all, give me the bottom half of an attractive old woman over the bottom half of the Championship any day of the week,’ drawing a scattering of laughs from reporters.

Rooney has long been an advocate for elderly sex workers and has made various donations to the community throughout his professional career, most notably to grandma and brothel worker Patricia Tierney – his contributions to the mother-of-seven earned him headlines across British media back in 2007 –and he hopes that Only Grans will allow him to build on that legacy, and cement his place an ally to the elderly.

Register today at OnlyGrans.com and get 25% off your first subscription with code T0TA1F00TBU11