Tag: NEWS

NEWS

Government to Blame for Palmer Being Cold, Claims Le Tissier

According to Southampton legend and ex-Sky pundit Matt Le Tissier, the UK government is to blame for Cole Palmer’s frequent on-field shivering, citing it as more evidence of widespread weather manipulation. Speaking after Chelsea’s 6-0 victory over Everton last night, Le Tissier sympathised with Palmer, saying, ‘You have to feel for the lad, we see him shivering game after game. Something needs to be done … Continue reading Government to Blame for Palmer Being Cold, Claims Le Tissier

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NEWS

ISIS Fail to Strike Despite UCL Goal Frenzy

As the usual suspects littered the scoresheets during a week of goals and unforgettable Champions League action, it was Middle Eastern upstarts ISIS that fired blank, failing to deliver on their strong early promise. Despite bold fighting talk ahead of this week’s quarter-final clashes, ISIS saw their attacks stifled at every turn, leaving their supporters calling for the manager’s head. Under Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s reign, … Continue reading ISIS Fail to Strike Despite UCL Goal Frenzy

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NEWS

Everton and Forest to Be Deducted a Player for Remainder of Season

After being charged with breaching Premier League Profitability and Sustainability Rules, Nottingham Forest and Everton will be forced to play the remainder of the season with ten men. Club officials had been expecting a ten-point deduction in line with Everton’s punishment earlier this season. However, after watching Everton successfully navigate their points deduction and escape the relegation zone, Premier League bosses questioned whether the punishment … Continue reading Everton and Forest to Be Deducted a Player for Remainder of Season

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