Tag: satire

NEWS

Barcelona and Real Madrid to Form Two-Team Super League

Following a landmark ruling from the European Court of Justice, A22 Sports Management – the company behind the European Super League – has unveiled plans for a new two-team competition. The league will consist entirely of La Liga’s two most iconic clubs, Real Madrid and Barcelona, who will play each other 32 times per season – with games split between the Bernabeu, the Nou Camp, … Continue reading Barcelona and Real Madrid to Form Two-Team Super League

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NEWS

Man City Draw Real Betis Féminas U-16s in Champions League Knockouts

Manchester City have again been handed a plum draw in this season’s UEFA Champions League round of 16, with last season’s treble winners set to face off against Real Betis Féminas’ under-16 side. The young women from Betis will step in for Danish Champions FC Copenhagen, who, despite being deemed the weakest team left in the competition, were not seen as an easy enough opponent … Continue reading Man City Draw Real Betis Féminas U-16s in Champions League Knockouts

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NEWS

PGMOL Select Squirrel to Referee Premier League Game

After appointing Rebecca Welch as the Premier League’s first ever female referee and selecting Sam Allison as their first black official in 15 years, Premier League bosses have taken their diversity drive a step further, placing an unnamed squirrel in charge of this weekend’s tie between Manchester United and Liverpool. The squirrel, found last week in Battersea Park, South London, will be the first non-human official … Continue reading PGMOL Select Squirrel to Referee Premier League Game

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NEWS

Ten Hag Forms Alliance With Sunak After Both Men Lose Dressing Rooms

An unlikely alliance has formed between Manchester United Boss Erik Ten Hag and Conservative leader, Rishi Sunak, following a deeply challenging period in which support from their respective camps has waned. ‘I have much sympathy for him,’ Ten Hag told reporters ahead of Sunday’s crunch tie with Liverpool. ‘We have similar objectives. His goal is to stop the boats, and I want to stop shipping … Continue reading Ten Hag Forms Alliance With Sunak After Both Men Lose Dressing Rooms

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NEWS

Blades Manager Told ‘We’re Hecking Bottom’ after Questioning Axe

A furious row broke out Saturday evening between Sheffield United owner Prince Abdullah and soon-to-be-ex-manager Paul Heckingbottom. Following Saturday’s five-nil humbling at the hands of fellow relegation battlers, Burnley, Blades owner Prince Abdullah informed manager Paul Heckingbottom that he’s likely to be sacked as soon as they find a suitable replacement. Heckingbottom, apoplectic with the decision, directed a furious tirade at Prince Abdullah and the … Continue reading Blades Manager Told ‘We’re Hecking Bottom’ after Questioning Axe

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NEWS

Brighton vs Chelsea to Go Ahead Despite Bubonic Plague Outbreak

Chelsea’s clash with Brighton and Hove Albion WILL go ahead despite a devastating outbreak of the bubonic plague. The rare but highly-infectious disease has left 16 players, as well as six members of Chelsea’s coaching staff, hospitalised, with at least four expected to die. Chelsea filed a request over the weekend asking for Tuesday night’s tie to be postponed. However, Premier League bosses rejected their … Continue reading Brighton vs Chelsea to Go Ahead Despite Bubonic Plague Outbreak

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NEWS

Saudi Arabia Step in as Euro 2021 Host

Shockwaves have been sent through the footballing world today after UEFA announced that the 2021 European Championship will now be played in Saudi Arabia, following a successful meeting with the Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. Despite strong opposition from the FA, the decision is said to be final and Saudi Arabia are expected to begin preparations as early as next week. UEFA bosses have … Continue reading Saudi Arabia Step in as Euro 2021 Host

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LOCKER ROOM

Kits Inspired by Your Favourite TV Shows (Part 1)

From The Simpsons to South Park, The Total FootBull team have designed a series of football kits inspired by your favourite television shows. Drop us a comment below and let us know your favourite… Look out for part two next week, where we’ll be taking on The Office, Friends, and a few more of your on-screen favourites. Continue reading Kits Inspired by Your Favourite TV Shows (Part 1)

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