Author: Lee innit

NEWS

Kepa to Attend Bedwetting Therapy After Latest Gaffe

Chelsea goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga is scheduled to attend bedwetting therapy in a bid to help him keep a clean sheet. Kepa’s girlfriend, Andrea Pérez, stumbled across the solution following a desperate late-night Google search, and while the remedy sounds somewhat unorthodox, it could have some merit. Bedwetting therapists are experts in tackling embarrassment and low self-esteem, and have plenty of experience fixing the confidence issues … Continue reading Kepa to Attend Bedwetting Therapy After Latest Gaffe

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Harvey Barnes set to Replace Denzel Washington in The Equalizer 3

Leicester City star Harvey Barnes has been lined up to replace Academy Award winner Denzel Washington in the third instalment of The Equalizer film franchise. Rumours of Barnes’ involvement began to swirl last month after his name appeared in a leaked excerpt from the film’s screenplay. Barnes already knows plenty about getting even, but rather than rescuing points for The Foxes, it seems he’ll now … Continue reading Harvey Barnes set to Replace Denzel Washington in The Equalizer 3

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‘Stop Hugging Your Wives’, Demands Premier League Boss

Footballers must ‘change their behaviours’ to adjust to coronavirus rules both on and off the pitch, the Premier League boss has said, meaning no more hugs – whether that be with teammates, spouses or even their own children. ‘Players need to realise that they’re role models, and while they may not be killing each other, a small child could copy a celebration, pass on the … Continue reading ‘Stop Hugging Your Wives’, Demands Premier League Boss

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NEWS

LEAKED: Burnley Unveil Kits for 21/22 Season

With Burnley currently 17th in the table, there’s no telling where Sean Dyche’s men will be playing next season, however, we do know what they’ll be wearing. Just two weeks into 2021, images of Burnley’s 21/22 home, away and 3rd kits have leaked online. The Puma-designed jerseys are said to be inspired by the wardrobe of the British working-class, with Puma looking to embrace the … Continue reading LEAKED: Burnley Unveil Kits for 21/22 Season

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Abramovich Thinks Grant Can Help Lampard

According to reports in Russia, Roman Abramovich believes Grant could be the man to help Frank Lampard’s fledgling Chelsea side and is looking to bring Phil Mitchell’s 56-year-old brother to Stamford Bridge. The Eastenders’ star, played by Ross Kemp, caught the attention of the Chelsea owner on a recent trip to the UK. Sources claim that Roman was impressed by Grant’s toughness after watching an … Continue reading Abramovich Thinks Grant Can Help Lampard

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Scott Parker Forced to Cancel Family Zoom Quiz

Fulham manager Scott Parker is reportedly incensed after the Premier League rescheduled his side’s game with Tottenham Hotspur at short notice, the new date clashing with Parker’s family Zoom quiz. The manager spent the early part of the week studying European flags, American presidents, and pop hits of the 90s. But now, with just 48 hours to prepare, he’ll need to switch his focus to … Continue reading Scott Parker Forced to Cancel Family Zoom Quiz

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Donald Trump Claims FA Cup Draw was Rigged

Following another easy draw for FA Cup frontrunners Manchester City, Donald Trump posted a message on the official @POTUS Bebo account claiming that the FA draw was ‘rigged.’ After City secured a plum draw against League 2 side Cheltenham Town, their two closest rivals, Liverpool and Manchester United, were then drawn against each other – raising eyebrows among members of the online football community. Trump … Continue reading Donald Trump Claims FA Cup Draw was Rigged

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NEWS

Benjamin Mendy Suspended Following Mass Orgy at Manchester City Training Ground

It was a day like any other for Kevin De Bruyne. He woke up, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast, and then made his way to the Manchester City training facility situated at the club’s Eithad Campus. However, upon arrival, Kevin was presented with something out of the ordinary. His designated parking spot was occupied – filled by an unfamiliar red Vauxhall Corsa. Now, this … Continue reading Benjamin Mendy Suspended Following Mass Orgy at Manchester City Training Ground

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Chelsea Still Keen on a Deal for Rice, Negotiations Underway

According to multiple reports, Chelsea are still keen on a deal for rice this January. The club’s hierarchy are pushing hard to secure an agreement between the two parties, and hope to have a deal over the line before the end of the month. However, negotiations have so far reached a stumbling block with Uncle Ben’s refusing to budge on their £3 per kilo asking … Continue reading Chelsea Still Keen on a Deal for Rice, Negotiations Underway

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Sheffield United Fixtures Postponed After Government Suspends Amateur Sport

Sheffield United’s upcoming fixtures have been postponed indefinitely following the suspension of amateur sport in the UK. As of midnight, amateur clubs across the country will be banned from taking part in organised sport. The rest of the Premier League will remain unaffected by the new measures, with the government allowing elite competition to continue. However, despite their top flight status, Sheffield United do not … Continue reading Sheffield United Fixtures Postponed After Government Suspends Amateur Sport

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