As the usual suspects littered the scoresheets during a week of goals and unforgettable Champions League action, it was Middle Eastern upstarts ISIS that fired blank, failing to deliver on their strong early promise.

Despite bold fighting talk ahead of this week’s quarter-final clashes, ISIS saw their attacks stifled at every turn, leaving their supporters calling for the manager’s head.

Under Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi’s reign, Islamic State possessed explosive players that could strike terror into any opponent, however, after a series of sanctions that have limited their spending and shrunk their scouting network, many have questioned whether or not their frontline still possesses the firepower to challenge Europe’s elite.

Current ISIS boss, Abu Hafs al-Hashimi al-Qurashi, however, seemed less concerned. Speaking to Total FootBull, he urged his supporters to remain calm, stating that hiccups like these are inevitable as they go through a rebuild, while also questioning their ability to perform on the biggest stage, ‘we have to give credit to the stadium security, they put in a brilliant defensive display, stopping us in our tracks at every turn, and preventing us from getting our shots off.’

Arsenal coach Mikel Arteta sympathised with al-Qurashi’s position, telling reporters that he needs to be given time, adding ‘they have a strong vision, incredibly passionate supporters, and even now, no team wants to come face to face with them on the pitch. Us included.’

Pep Guardiola was less forgiving in his assessment of the Middle Eastern side, labelling their approach ‘anti-football’ while stating, ‘Their attacking approach will empty out stadiums.’

Guardiola will be less concerned about his side’s strikeforce, as he oversaw a goal-laden affair against Real Madrid on Tuesday night, and speaking of laden, a certain Bin Laden will have no doubt been turning in his grave as the young upstarts he inspired threatened to eliminate his beloved Arsenal.

Now, ISIS will turn their focus to next week’s ties, hoping to keep the jihadist flag flying high while overcoming a somewhat embarrassing setback.